Shameful!

I ran across a piece of my history that I had blocked out of my thoughts.  I was forced to do something that went against every single fiber of my being!  When I ran across the evidence, I instantly felt sick to my stomach all over again.  I'm so ashamed of this single act, I can't describe it.  I will however own up to it!  This is my apology to everyone everywhere, I'm very very sorry!!  Here's the story:

From 1991 to 1993 I worked for the Boy Scouts of America.  I was the Executive Secretary to the Program Director and CEO of the County Council.  Really, I was desperate for money being the single parent to a toddler.  I was the only Non-Mormon member of the staff of 15 or so.  I loved the people there with only a couple of exceptions.  In order to fit in with staff and the hundreds of Scouts and Parents, I wore a disguise of sorts.  

One morning I arrived to work thinking it would be a quiet day.  The head honchos that I catered to were all away at a national event.  The phone started ringing off the hook immediately.  Shortly before this, there was a case in San Francisco where a gay man was turned away from leading a pack.  It went to court and the Boy Scouts won, they could indeed exclude homosexuals.  They mandated it throughout the states.  I remember biting my tongue on dozens of occasions to keep my paycheck from disappearing.

Several banks and institutions disagreed with the decision by the Boy Scouts and ceased their donations.  It was quite controversial.  A couple from Sultan, WA protested their bank by returning a $45,000 loan they received and cancelling their accounts.  They had the media in a frenzy! 

Because of the national event, I was the senior ranking person in the office that day.  The CEO faxed me a statement for the public.  I begged him to have one of the other girls make the statement.  I tried to convince one of the girls to do it.  I even tried the "you can stand for what you believe in" but no luck.  I finally called the CEO back and refused to do it and he put me on notice.  Do it or be on your way.  So, I did it.  Here's the article from the Everett Herald.  By the way, Bismore is my maiden name.

There it is.  Can you believe I said those words??  Oh my God!!  There are only two or three things in my life that I'm deeply, genuinely ashamed of and this is one.  I can't do anything about it now so I will finally face it, own it and let it go.  I won't even make any excuses.  Single parent or not, I should have walked out the door that day and never looked back.  It was a mistake.

I did some amazing work there.  I have to share.  I was in charge of the 75 year anniversary fund raising event and I had a blast!  Larry was an awesome man and I enjoyed working with him.  Check out his nod to me in the forward. 

Working at the Boy Scouts was not all bad.  I hope that this doesn't come across like a judgemental or prejudice thing.  It's not that at all.  I simply don't agree with most of the fundamentals.  It should not have been my voice, it was not my message. 

Thank you for listening and please forgive me.  I'm deeply sorry!